Chav Fashion

Imitation is the sincerest form of annoying the fashionistas.

Burberry blames chavs for its disappointing sales. The adoption by chavs of plaid as a low-life uniform is frightening away upmarket customers.

Tommy Hilfiger has removed the logo from some clothes in order to discourage chavs from buying baggies as tribal uniform. Fashion houses are threatened by the popularity of their gear among the unfashionable classes.

Fashion is gentility running away from vulgarity, and afraid of being overtaken. But it has been overtaken, ever since it became fashionable to advertise the name of one's tailor on one's clothes, like a footballer. The poor are too rich, and the rich have run out of ideas. And the queue for service is getting awfully long.

Economists call this phenomenon a positional good. When everybody's somebody, then no one's anybody. Motoring used to be a transport of delight, when the elite motorarchy bowled along the open road instead of stop-start-stoppin g in a tailback.

Ski-ing is another hierarchical good. In its pristine age, the slopes were empty for the fortunate few slippers and sliders. Now that everybody, even the XYZ list, takes a winter break, they all spend the day queueing for the ski lift.

What is the point of wearing designer clothes as a visible symbol of your celebrity and